Finding Hope In Infertility: Faith, Grief, And Trusting God’s Plan
This post discusses infertility, miscarriage, and faith. If you are walking a tender road, please know you are not alone here.
A little about myself. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am a wife and a mother of one. Over the last eight years, my husband and I have struggled with infertility.
Being raised in a church that focuses on Christ-centered families, eternal families, and the importance of children, infertility can feel like a rollercoaster of emotions and unanswered questions. There have been many tears and countless prayers offered to God. Anger and frustration have been felt deeply. But alongside those feelings, hope, peace, and joy have also found their way into my heart.
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The Quiet Pain of Church and Community
For a long time, the pain of infertility felt heavy and isolating, especially in places meant to bring comfort. Walking into church some days is harder than others. Seeing and hearing babies and little children can be heartbreaking. Watching my only child look up at me and say, “I wish I had a baby brother or sister,” breaks me in ways that are hard to describe.
There is also a quiet pain that comes from seeing others—sometimes those who seem to treat their bodies carelessly—become pregnant so easily. The frustration can feel consuming. You feel alone. No one quite knows what to say beyond, “Have you tried this?” or “So-and-so did this—you should try it.” Even well-meaning comments can sting.
Then the internal questions begin:
Why, God? What have I done wrong? Do I need to learn something? What do I need to do?
The silence that follows those questions can hurt the most.
“The Father is aware of us, knows our needs, and will help us perfectly. Sometimes that help is given in the very moment or at least soon after we ask for divine help. Sometimes our most earnest and worthy desires are not answered in the way we hope, but we find that God has greater blessings in store.” – Elder Brook P. Hales
When Hope Slowly Returns
Slowly, almost without noticing, things began to change. Something beautiful happened—hope.
The Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, along with the teachings of eternal families and children, slowly walked me back into the light, step by step. Baby blessings became less painful. Hearing babies cry turned into a joy. Pregnancy announcements became something I could genuinely celebrate.
Do these moments still affect me? Yes, sometimes. But they don’t linger the way they once did. Do hurtful comments still sting? Occasionally—but not nearly as much.
I don’t go to church for the people. I go for the Spirit and for the peace and joy it brings.
The teachings of the Church have helped me trust that God has a plan.
“Strong faith in the Savior is submissively accepting of His will and timing in our lives—even if the outcome is not what we hoped for or wanted.” – Elder David A. Bednar
I know what I have been promised in my patriarchal blessing, and I choose not to doubt God’s promises.
Trusting God Doesn’t Eliminate the Ups and Downs
Faith does not erase infertility, but it changes how we carry it.
Trusting God’s plan doesn’t mean the pain disappears. I still have days when I feel upset and confused. Sometimes I even feel guilty for struggling to trust, because I know God’s timing is perfect—even when I don’t like it.
I think this is a normal and natural cycle of emotions, as long as we don’t allow it to fester and let it destroy our faith.
Sometimes the hardest moments I have experienced has been when we received great hope of a pregnancy and then have it end in a miscarriage. Those moments bring me to my knees. I ask why again. I question my worth. And then, slowly, I remember the teachings of the Savior and I gather the broken pieces.
In those tender journeys, God gives something truly special: comfort.
“Ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith” Ether 12:6
The Refiner’s Fire and Sacred Growth
The trials and tribulations we go through can be called the refiner’s fire. These moments in our lives such as infertility, has not been quick or easy for me, but it has been sacred. The refiner’s fire is where those broken pieces of myself are placed back together into something even more beautiful.
It took me a long time to see beauty in pain and grief. Without that pain, the joy I have felt would never have been so sweet. That doesn’t mean I love the pain—quite the opposite. But I do find peace. I do see God’s hand.
And when I don’t see it, I hold onto faith.
“That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ” – 1 Peter 1:7
I trust that He is holding my babies right now, preparing them for this life, while He prepares us to be better parents—and preparing their sister to be the very best big sister.
Your Worth Is Not Measured by Motherhood
If you are sitting in the pews feeling invisible or broken, please know you are seen and loved.
Trusting God’s plan and timing doesn’t remove grief, but it does soften it. It allows space to be happy for others. It reminds us that we are children of God and that our worth is not determined by how many children we have.
One of the beautiful blessings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the opportunity to discuss scriptures and talks together in our meetings. These moments open the door to share experiences of struggle, faith, and hope.
If you are struggling with infertility, you have a place in this Christ-centered church family.
Sharing and testifying of the Savior through infertility has not only contributed to church meetings but reinforces my own testimony. Your experiences matter. Share them. Lift someone else.
Remember two things:
- If we were all the same, the world would be a very boring place.
- God knows exactly what you need and the path you need to walk.
Our trials can lead us closer to God—if we allow them—and they can bring comfort and peace to others when we are willing to share.
A Testimony of Faith and Hope
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.” Moroni 7:48
I know a day will come when I will be blessed with more of God’s children, that Jesus Christ lives, and I know that Joseph Smith restored the fullness of Christ’s gospel on the earth.
I am grateful for what God has already blessed me with. And while infertility is not a journey I would have chosen, there is no other place I would rather be than where God has led me—learning, trusting, and growing closer to Him through this sacred, refining path.
Bonus Talk:
