Struggling with Love
Struggling with love. What can we do to strength our love for God.
Love can be very confusing, mainly when what we see daily on social media, TV, and in movies differs significantly from the kind of love God wants us to experience and express. Our culture often views love as conditional and frequently confuses it with lust. Some even believe that love is not a choice. However, love is none of these things. So, what is love, and how can we enhance our love for God and others, even during difficult times?
Charity
The love we desire, the love that is the “highest, noblest and strongest love in the world, is charity.” (Scripture Guide). “Charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever” Moroni 7:47 Charity embodies Christ’s pure love. When we love others, we experience God’s pure love within us. But how can we genuinely love others, and what does charity mean?
Love and charity are fundamentally the same. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, the Bible provides a clear description of love. It is characterized by patience, kindness, and a lack of envy. True love does not elevate oneself above others; it is honest, selfless, and patient. Love does good and never fails to endure.
There are countless ways to demonstrate our love for God and one another, but do we actively and with real intent practice them?
Do we show these attributes of love to the people we live with? What about those at work or at school? How do we treat others when we go to the grocery store? Love is not verbal. As it says in Matthew 15:8, “This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth and honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.” We fail to show true love when we only express love through words. Many failed relationships arise because we or the other person refuse to put in the effort to demonstrate love. This includes our relationship with God.
We grow our love through action. If we want to love our family or God more, we cannot simply say we love them; we must show it through our actions. God has told us, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” He has also instructed us, “If ye love me, feed my sheep.” He doesn’t want us just to say we love Him; He desires to see our love manifested in our actions.
Long-Suffering
So, how do we show our love for Him? One way is through long-suffering. This can be one of the most challenging aspects of love, alongside patience. I struggle with these virtues. Anyone who knows me, especially my husband, knows I struggle to wait. I want the bad times over now and expect myself to be perfect. I struggle to be patient with myself and sometimes others. However, studying for this post taught me that suffering means allowing. When Christ endured mockery, flogging, a crown of thorns, and crucifixion, He allowed it to happen. He submitted to God’s will even in the face of excruciating pain and sorrow. Yes, He suffered, but He did so willingly, which has changed my view on hard times.
Long-suffering doesn’t mean we endure pain for a long time; instead, it means we submit to God’s will because “God gives us experiences that shall ultimately work for our good” (D&C 122:7). When we face difficult times without resisting, we often find that we have an easier time dealing with them. God will not take away our suffering, but He will provide us with the strength to endure it, just as Christ bore His suffering. He will also offer us tender mercies to comfort our souls and guide us through challenging moments.
Kindness & Selflessness
I know that being kind to those who wrong or mistreat us is difficult. It isn’t a pleasant experience, as you all know. However, being selfless is considered the foundation of genuine kindness. Kindness or selflessness is one way to deepen our love for God. In today’s world, selfishness is rampant and often encouraged. Parents focus more on their own needs than on their children. Children learn to manipulate and lie to get what they want. People mock and persecute one another for their differences. When we hear “selflessness,” a sense of dread may wash over us. It is hard to give up yourself. This idea is something that I have struggled with over the years as a mother.
However, selflessness is more complex than simply putting others’ interests before ourselves. “A selfless person is one who is more concerned about the happiness and well-being of another than about his or her own convenience or comfort, one who is willing to serve another when it is neither sought for nor appreciated, or one who is willing to serve even those whom he or she dislikes.” (H. Burke Peterson) Kindness involves recognizing others’ needs and serving them without seeking recognition or reward.
To be selfless does not mean we have to abandon ourselves. God does not want us to lose our identity; instead, He wants us to use the gifts and talents He has given us to serve those around us. As it says in Luke 9:24, “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.” If we apply this to charity, we risk having little purpose on this earth if we do not serve others.
Think back to your happiest moments. Were they when you focused on yourself or when you served others, regardless of the scale of your actions? We must turn away from the mirror in front of our faces and look out our windows. Our struggles diminish when we help those around us and empathize with those in need. As stated in Mosiah 2:17, “When ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of our God.”
One of the reasons God has placed us on this earth is to help each other. What better way to find comfort than through those who have endured similar struggles? When we serve others, we are not alone in our own times of need. God promises that He will not “leave you comfortless: [He] will come to you” (John 14:18). As we strive to cultivate the attributes of love, God will be there for us, providing comfort and making us stronger than we ever thought possible.
Invitation
I invite you to practice long-suffering, kindness and selflessness, especially during difficult times. I promise that your love will grow, and your heart will heal and become whole. Our Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ, love you more perfectly than anyone. When we falter, He stands with open arms, even when we find it hard to love Him. With real intent and practicing the attributes of Charity, we can grow stronger love for God and others.
More On Strengthening Our Love
- Watch The Chosen – this may seem silly but I believe when we see the miracles and Christ’s love we start to understand it better.
- Five Ways to Love God
- 6 Ways to Strengthen Family Love
Thank you for this post! It says it all perfectly! We love you all!